Learn to Drink the Hard Stuff

I’m gonna learn to drink the hard stuff
If it takes me all my life
It seems that’s what you want most
Of your friends and of your wife

Well this morning you drank breakfast
And said I’ll see you soon
Turned up your nose at the lunch I fixed
And had some sloe gin at noon

When you called me after five
Your voice was filled with fun
Come on down to the tavern
And I’ll buy you dinner, hon

Well I’ve been here for an hour or so
And the drinks have all been fine
You and your friends are getting loud
And slightly out of line

You know I’ll always love you
And if the hard stuff makes you tick
Then I’ll learn to drink it
Even though it makes me sick

I’ll learn to drink the hard stuff
Have meals without fork or knife
I’ll learn to drink the hard stuff
If it takes me all my life